he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
