When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
