god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize