What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
