dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
