Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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