in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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