The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
