I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
