I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You can't just leave with hair like that
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
