fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
COCAINE IS GR8
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
