check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
