So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
