The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
