She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize