Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
