nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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