dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
