used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Randomize
