I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
