Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
