You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
