I have demons in me.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize