Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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