We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
40s are totally the cure
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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