Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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