You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
