She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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