i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
