i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize