this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
