What a fucking waste of an outfit
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
