I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize