is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
