at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
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