just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
