im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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