He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
