But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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