so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
