so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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