Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize