then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
