Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
