im drinking this country out of the recession.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
