What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
