Your dad touched me again.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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