Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
not ubering you a puppy
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
