Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
