It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
