You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
