Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
