youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
