I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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