we have pet lesbian snakes
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
