You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
