How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
