It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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