y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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